Nachshon Zohari, LCSW

Single Jewish Mothers Retreat - Twin Cities, MN - Feb. 16-20, 2012

Retreat for Single Jewish Mothers
Childcare & Generous Grants Available

Feb 16-20, 2012 [Thur-Mon]
Twin Cities, Minnesota

Single Jewish Mothers - Just for You
We know there are many reasons a woman might be raising a family on her own and we’re here to support you as you do it - spiritually, emotionally and practically. Sound like a dream? Not anymore. Generous donors who care about you and your children have made this extraordinary experience possible for you – just when you need it most.

A Retreat for Single Moms  
We’ll nurture, inform and support you at a five-day retreat in a relaxing, stress-free environment. You’ll enjoy delicious, healthy meals and an array of workshops: on parenting, Jewish spiritual teachings, financial planning, dating and relationship counseling, fitness and arts – all led by expert educators and facilitators. Warm, dependable childcare for children up to age 5 is available if you decide to bring your young children.

The benefit to you: You’ll gain a powerful network of support, find new resources, and go home with deep, lasting friendships with women from all over the country.

Featured Lecturers
RABBI MANIS FRIEDMAN is a gifted educator, internationally acclaimed lecturer, social philosopher, author and counselor. Using his trademark wit and wisdom, he challenges our assumptions about Judaism, spirituality and G-d, and sheds new light on our most important relationships. Friedman’s compelling worldview comes from Torah, Kabbala and Chassidut, and he is a master at conveying deeply profound concepts in concrete, relevant terms and in putting our Divine mission and purpose within reach.

Friedman has over forty years in the classroom and on the lecture floor, a profound knowledge of the soul and psyche, and a crystal clear perspective on life today, much of it garnered from the many thousands of women he's counseled at Bais Chana and around the world. Friedman has lectured at venues all over the globe and is one of the most riveting teachers you’ll have the pleasure to study with.

FREIDY YANOVER is a brilliant and stimulating teacher, not one to shy away from some of the toughest material in the canon of Chassidic and Kabbalistic writings. Yanover will make you think deeply about some very lofty concepts and then bring you right back down to earth with personal take-home lessons. Her topics this session include “License to Laugh!”, “The Soul of Prayer” and “The Feminine and Masculine Energies of Mitzvot.” Yanover taught a weekly class for women in Johannesburg, South Africa when she lived there, and has lectured in Chabad Houses all over the US. Widowhood as a young mother introduced her to the challenges and art of single parenting.

NACHSHON ZOHARI, LCSW, In the course of his work as a psychotherapist, Nachshon Zohari has developed a compassionate style that focuses on personal strengths and innate talents in order to introduce light, life, and health into his clients' lives. Zohari’s work is a unique blend of Chassidic thought and Developmental Psychology in which he facilitates individual growth as the foundation for healthy change. He is a talented and inspiring parenting educator, and his dynamic and positive manner - combined with the belief that each of us has a vital role to play in the world - has helped many people to work through their challenges and fulfill their unique potential.

Zohari currently administers the mental health and substance abuse programs for families in crisis at Denver Department of Human Services. Previously, he was the Director for Women and Family Services for outpatient behavior health at Denver Health and Hospital. He also maintains a private counseling practice. Zohari believes that growth is best achieved by developing and maintaining an extended network of support. This may include the extended family, career mentors, financial advisors, and spiritual guides all working together to create a holistic vision and plan that allows a woman to bring her hopes and goals into reality – as this retreat does.

Accommodations
Lubavitch House, Twin Cities, MN
Lubavitch House is situated on 5 acres of wooded land in suburban West S Paul, and is fully air-conditioned. A newly renovated synagogue and classroom serves as the main meeting space for the group. Overnight rooms are set up dormitory-style as private rooms, double occupancy or triple occupancy rooms, and students’ rooms. A wireless internet connection is available.

Cost
Rates include overnight accommodations, all classes and workshops, and three meals daily. Rates are based on the room occupancy you choose: private, double or triple. Contact us to arrange childcare. Please see the Retreat and Childcare Grants section below, if needed.

Application Fee: $50
Private Room: $780
Double Occupancy: $660
Triple or Quad Occupancy: $540

Childcare is available for children up to age 5.
If you need a handicap accessible room, please indicate that in the comments box when you register.

Sign Up Now
Use this registration form to sign up. Once you submit your online form, you’ll be directed to pay your $50 application fee so have your credit card ready. If you’re applying for a Retreat Grant or Childcare Grant, please note that in the section that asks for additional comments.

Retreat and Childcare Grants
Generous donors have made Retreat Grants and Childcare Grants available for women in need. Grants do not cover the $50 application fee but, depending on your situation, could cover up to 100% of the retreat and childcare fees.

To apply for a Retreat Grant or Childcare Grant, please write two to three paragraphs summarizing your financial situation and why you’re requesting help. You must include the name and contact number of someone who can serve as a reference for you. Clearly state the dollar amount you’re asking for and whether it’s for the retreat or childcare. We may ask for documentation if we need to clarify your situation. All information you submit to us is strictly confidential and will only be seen by the three-woman committee that's evaluating Grant requests. Email your request to info@baischana.org and put “Grant Request” in the subject line.
 

Travel: Arrival and Departure Times
Arrive at Lubavitch House any time Thursday, February 16. Dinner is at 6:30 pm followed by the first session at 7:30 pm. Book flights after 1:30 pm for your departure on Monday.

More Information
If you’d like more information, please call 718.604.0088 or email to info@baischana.org.  We’d be happy to answer all your questions and it’s our privilege to address any special needs you have.

Single Moms Find Compassion, Support at Bais Chana

(lubavitch.com) Single mothers captured the spotlight in early March of this year when politicians and pundits weighed in on the subject of unwed Hollywood moms and moms-to-be. Aided by an adoring media, celebrity women project an aura of glamour around having babies without husbands.

The reality is a lot harsher, as one-time presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee commented in an interview that set off the media blitz.

Amy King, a Chicago-based accountant and divorced mother of a three-year-old son, knows firsthand how far from glamorous the life of a single mother can be. After fleeing an abuse-filled marriage that lasted four years, she’s now locked in a custody battle with her former husband – terrified of his influence over her child and struggling to pay her bills.

Urged by a Chabad rabbi, King, 35, was one of 20 women who attended a Retreat for Single Jewish Mothers pioneered by Bais Chana Women International. The February 2011 retreat was the latest addition to Bais Chana’s growing roster of learning programs for women.

The five-day retreat featured sessions on Chasidic thought and life, parenting, financial planning, and fitness, art and health (including a workshop on Laughter Yoga). Financial assistance plus childcare for children up to age five made the retreat possible for most of the participants.

Woman ranging in age from 21 to 57 came to the program from very different social circles, degrees of Jewish involvement and income brackets. Hinda Leah Sharfstein, Bais Chana’s executive director, says that some could barely afford basic necessities; others were professional women like King whose salaries disappeared into legal fees; more than one was dealing with an out-of-control or addicted teen.

One 22-year old named Rachel reflected that she’d been married too young and to the wrong man, and now was looking for a way to refocus her life.

Differences aside, the women bonded over similar concerns. They all wanted to be good parents; they felt isolated, and were burdened by being sole provider and decision-maker. They overwhelmingly felt that life wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.

Sharfstein pondered the irony in the fact that on the day the retreat’s groundbreaking session started in February, a new poll from the Pew Research Center showed that tolerance was high nationally for every kind of non-traditional family, with one exception: single mothers. 

Now that census statistics show that traditional nuclear families make up barely one in five households in the United States, the Jewish community cannot help but be affected.

“Clearly, Bais Chana has pioneered something necessary and extraordinary,” Sharfstein said. 

Teachers and Mentors

King, the daughter of Russian-Jewish immigrants, had worked hard to establish a career and had looked forward to having a family. For some time she hid the abuse in her marriage, and now she is embarrassed to be in the situation she’s in.

“I should have known better,” she says.

Self-blame and shattered identities were common to most of the women at the retreat.  Jewish-Chasidic insights broadened their perspective in unexpected ways.

Karen Stein, 50, a former teacher from Los Angeles, said a vague guilt seemed to underlie her feelings about herself. “We just assume that we did something to cause it or deserve [their lot].”

Rabbi Manis Friedman, Bais Chana’s lead educator and co-founder, turns perspectives like these upside down. “G-d owes you an apology,” he told Stein. 

Her story, decades after the experience, still raises vivid memories of desperate fear, physical intimidation, and emotional manipulation.  “Rabbi Friedman opened my eyes to the possibility of being able to expect something good in my life, something I was blocking,” she said. “It was very freeing.”

The retreat’s resident psychotherapist, Nachshon Zohari, saw similar breakthroughs at the retreat.

“[They] walked in the door feeling isolated and not in control of their lives, and they’re leaving in the driver’s seat with a new family of people who really understand them,” he said in an interview.

Zohari’s focus on finding one’s innate strength, or personal genius, as he calls it, is grounded in a blend of Chasidic thought and developmental psychology.

Bais Chana’s nonjudgmental atmosphere, its women teachers who serve as role models of strength, and Hinda Leah Sharfstein’s unerring instinct for putting her finger on the pulse of Jewish women undoubtedly contributed to the program’s impact.

Next Steps

Bais Chana Women’s International plans to hold two Single Jewish Mothers Retreats yearly. The February retreat in St. Paul, Minn., was hosted by Bais Chana co-founders Rabbi Moshe and Mindy Feller. The next session is planned for November 2011, provided that funding is in place. Sharfstein meanwhile is setting up a private social network and forum that will allow participants to stay in touch with each other and the Bais Chana mentors. A public section of the forum, she hopes, will become a resource for the larger Jewish social service community and other single Jewish mothers.

Bais Chana Women International ranked second by GuideStar and GreatNonprofits among the top ten nonprofits empowering women nationally. For more information contact info@baischana.org.

Retreat for Single Jewish Mothers

Bais Chana Women International

Childcare & Generous Grants Available

We know there are many reasons a woman might be raising a family on her own and we’re here to support you as you do it - spiritually, emotionally and practically. Sound like a dream? Not anymore. Generous donors who care about you and your children have made this extraordinary experience possible for you – just when you need it most.

We’ll nurture, inform and support you at a five-day retreat in a relaxing, stress-free environment. You’ll enjoy delicious, healthy meals and an array of workshops: on parenting, Jewish spiritual teachings, financial planning, dating and relationship counseling, fitness and arts – all led by expert educators and facilitators. Warm, dependable childcare for children up to age 5 is available if you decide to bring your young children.

The benefit to you: You’ll gain a powerful network of support, find new resources, and go home with deep, lasting friendships with women from all over the country.

Click here to visit the Bais Chana website directly for more information on rates, accomodations, and financial aid.

 

"a" is for addiction

I'm really honored to be a new contributor over at addictionblog.org.

Here is their mission statement: "This is an addiction blog for all addictions. Articles you’ll find on Addiction Blog are an active interrogation into the full spectrum of addictions and addiction treatment. In each post, we explore today’s addiction issues based on personal experience or research. We believe in responsiveness, responsibility and frankness."

Please visit Addiction Blog to read my weekly contribution along with a multitude of other posts from a wide variety of people along the addiction, recovery, treatment spectrum.  New posts go up daily.

Growth Through Give and Take

Please enjoy this video of a talk I delivered last Spring at the Bais Chana Women's Retreat in the Berkshire Mountains. Click here.

Understanding Counter-Will in Children

There is nothing more frustrating and demoralizing for a parent than to give an order and have the child do the exact opposite. It triggers anger, doubt, and even fear of the child because mom and dad feel like they have lost control and that the kid is somehow in charge. Honoring one's parents is one of the most fundamental principles of Judaism; in fact it is one of the 10 commandments. So if the child is in a seemingly perpetual state of defiance, parents might wonder what kind of "monster" they have created.  

Click here to read the rest of this parenting blog over at chabad.org.

Stir-fried Life

Imagine that you are cooking dinner.  You’re making a stir-fry, mixing sizzling ingredients in a large pan on the stove.  Suddenly the phone rings and you answer it.  You continue to cook while chatting on the phone.  But now, undetected by you, your daughter wanders by wanting to help.  She grabs a hot spice from the counter – the one you use to add an edge to the taste – and she dumps half the jar into the pan.  You didn’t notice while your back was turned, so you continue stirring until the hot spice is completely mixed into the meal.  When you take a taste your face turns red and you run to the sink to put out the fire in your mouth.  What do you do now?  You could throw the whole thing away and start over, but that would be a big waste of food.  You could serve it and eat a disgusting meal.  Or, if you’re clever, you will begin to cut up more ingredients and add them to the dish until the spice becomes diluted and the dish becomes palatable again.

This is a metaphor I use when I’m working with a client who is being held back, or otherwise negatively influenced, by a past event.  Sometimes it is a trauma or tragedy.  Sometimes it is a period of life that is just too painful to think about and diminishes self-worth.  It is something so big that it has come to define who this person is and limits what is possible for him or her.  It is bitter – like the hot spice in the story.

And like that spice, it cannot be removed.

The only thing to do is make the person’s life bigger by adding more ingredients (new activities, people, skills, enjoyments, etc.) until the intensity of the bitterness is diluted to a point where the memories become bearable.  Over the course of time the bitterness can actually make one into a deeper human being and even add a pleasant edge and taste to life by providing a context of wisdom, empathy and compassion.  That is why the focus of my work is on adding light rather than worrying so much about negativity.  By making our lives bigger, we transform bitterness into delight.

Thank you chabad.org

Click here to read my first post on the marriage blog over at chabad.org.  Some parenting posts are in the line-up and should be appearing in the next few weeks.  Looking forward to writing more for this outstanding website!

Bais Chana Jewish Women's Retreat

I'm really pleased to let you know that I will be one of the featured speakers at the retreat detailed below.  Hope to see you there!

Bais Chana in the Berkshire Mtns, CT
Jewish Women's Study Retreat
April 25-28, 2010 [Sun-Wed]

The upcoming session in the Berkshire Mountains, is for Jewish women of all ages and backgrounds. We’re fond of saying the only prerequisites are an adventurous mind and an adventurous spirit because we know how much you’ll appreciate the intellectual and spiritual depth we offer through classes, workshops, prayer and camaraderie. Want to take a break and go canoeing? Enjoy a game of tennis? Have a massage? You can do that too. Like every other session we run, the atmosphere is open and nonjudgmental, and you’ll be sharing the experience with women – like yourself – who have set aside time to study and experience the finer things in life. 

Scroll down for the retreat theme, featured lecturers, accommodations, travel, information for local residents, and registration. If you have any questions or need assistance making arrangements to attend, email us or call 800.473.4801 (718.604.0088 for outside US or Canada).

Please take a few minutes to watch our video.
Check out last year's photo album

Ready?

Bais Chana Jewish Couples Retreat

A Retreat for Jewish Couples:
Married or Engaged
Jan 7-10, 2010
Mariners Resort, Key Largo, Florida

With Rabbi Manis Friedman, Rivkah Slonim and Nachshon Zohari, LCSW

With the constant demands on your time and attention, you don't need a vacation as much as you need an infusion. You need a weekend away to focus on what’s really important in your lives, so you can spend time with remarkable educators and experts who will help you become more conscientious marriage partners, parents and Jews. Sign up now and make a very real investment in yourselves and in your family – whether you’re engaged, you’re newlyweds or you’re married for 30-plus years.

Strengthen your marriage, become a more effective, confident parent and celebrate an extraordinary Shabbat. Relax and enjoy the wisdom of A-list educators, stunning accommodations, a gorgeous ocean view and the company of couples from around the world – all for a lot less than you think. For a 10% discount, sign up by December 7, 2009.